Love wasn't something I was initially seeking. To hide was all I wished for. Somehow, it found its way to my doorstep, and I wouldnât just love up; I needed to write about it.
I made the decision to ask a few people when they thought it was ideal to start a relationship. The response I got made me realize that the idea of being âreadyâ for a relationship is really difficult to define.
Being "ready" can mean many different things to various people, and much of the conventional wisdom is out of touch with how relationships and everyday life actually function.
Excerpts of the response I got;
Ready as to your time, Maturity as to emotional stability, You are sure of who you are saying yes to, God has spoken
Well, I feel like age plays a huge role but it's mostly emotional intelligence
I don't think there's a perfect time to start a relationship. What works for one person may not work for another. Our growth pace, choices, personality and what we look out for in a partner differs and our standard get heightened as time goes by. So I'll just say, do what works for you. If you opportune to find the love that fits into your definition without red flags, I think it's okay to go for it. My own question is, when do you know who it is?
After youâve had a relationship with yourself. Knowing what your expectations are and what your love language is, only then can figure out who is for you or who isnât.
Godâs time is the best time, my own time isnât correct
When I have something reliable enough as a work .Probably a skill. And Iâm ready to give in and maintain the relationship. And when I think have train myself well.
As for me relationship is good to go when you both are on the same page and giving the same amount of energy into achieving a common interests
When you are independently able to take care of yourself and you've found someone that makes you happy, that's willing to learn from you and vice versa, compliment you where needed, your values align and able to differ for you and vice versa
The main mistakes we make in relationship is that there's no definite motives & clarity in any relationship. A guy's motive might just be for sexual purpose, while the other party really want the relationship to end in marriage. If a relationship won't end in marriage, I believe it should be discarded as soon as possible
I will say wen you have seek God's face for the right person, you must be psychologically balance, wen you are ready to be committed to your partner, and you know, its a must to have money in your account.
Does Time Really Actually Matter?
This could be true, to a point. Timing can be an issue. But it doesnât have to discourage you from having a relationship; itâs just a condition to consider.
This all depends on your definition of a relationship. If you believe relationships to be fleeting, you may feel that they could spark in an instant, but they could also disappear without warning. On the other hand, if you believe that it is something that must be built over a longer period of time, you may feel that you must know someone deeply and acquire all that needs to be acquired before you jump straight into saying, "I love you."
Relationships can take many shapes and forms, and they can be defined in many different ways. So is there a clear-cut way to determine if you are ready? Below, we will discuss how you can interpret how you feel, some signs, and how to feel confident enough for relationships.Â
You need a positive relationship with yourself before you're ready for a relationship. Understanding and respecting your values and needs come from loving yourself first. Consequently, you become more steady for possible relationships.
Consider your motive. You might not have ever desired a "serious" relationship, but suddenly everyone is dating, and you feel that you ought to be as well. If you recognize yourself in this, step back. Keep in mind that dating is not a competition. Relationships include real people and real emotions, so you shouldn't rush into one just because your friends are.
Want someone to complement you, not complete you. In terms of relationships, two halves do not form a whole. Rather, two whole, healthy people come together to form a greater whole. Looking for someone to complete you is a recipe for a dysfunctional, codependent relationship. You are ready to be in a healthy relationship with another person when you already see yourself as a complete. As a result, you are looking for a partner who complements all that you have to offer.
Be aware of what a relationship demands. In order to be in a healthy relationship you must recognize what you have to be ready to give. Healthy relationships consist of some of the same elements as other relationships (e.g. friendships, family, etc.). However, with dating relationships, it can be easy to get caught up in the other person and neglect friends or activities.
Ask yourself if you are okay with being exclusive. Another way to know if you are ready for a serious relationship is your commitment to just one person. You like the person you are dating so much that you canât imagine seeing him with another girl or having another make him bowl over laughing. The desire for exclusivity is often a major indicator of the beginnings of a romantic relationship.
Be warned: extreme possessiveness, jealousy, or controlling are not elements of a healthy love relationship. Yes, you and your partner should want to turn away other suitors, but pushing away friends and losing your head if they talk to someone else is a red flag and an unhealthy attachment, or even abuse.
Recognize that the early flame will burn out. The honeymoon phase is the early days in the relationship when you two seem to agree on everything, every word that comes out of your dateâs mouth is funny or charming, and the attraction is undeniable. You must prepare for this period to end sooner or later. Assuming this amazing feeling of chemistry and ânewnessâ will last can lead to disappointment when it doesnât. The two of you will disagree and even annoy one another. Going into the relationship with a realistic outlook and expectations can sometimes prevent a crash and burn in the end.
Think carefully before rebounding. Rebounding is a concept defined by initiating a new relationship soon after another has ended, without waiting for the emotional pain and confusion to be resolved. In some cases, you may rebound after a relationship ends to avoid being single, get revenge on the old partner, or to have someone else comfort you through the difficult time.
With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to enlighten you: âA relationship is two people coming together and co-creating an experience.â âAnd youâve got to be in it for the inevitable adventure thatâs going to take place.â
However, being ready does not come from achieving particular life milestones or having ideal mental health. Additionally, completing a checklist does not automatically result in the beginning of a relationship. You can never be prepared for a relationship. Yet, feeling prepared makes that fascinating mental leap substantial.
YES, I'm madly in love with MYSELFđđ
I got you right there! For me, self-love takes precedence over anything else.
See you in the next one sweetâ€ïžđ